


Obscure.

by Goretastics



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Insecurity, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Recreational Drug Use, Sad Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Suicide Attempt, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:15:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26939488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goretastics/pseuds/Goretastics
Summary: "I met a star, a star so bright yet surrounded by so much darkness. Though it made them shine so bright and so beautifully, they still managed to drown in that darkness, dragging everything around them along, including me""Were you in love?""That's an understatement, I was and still am. If I were ever given the opportunity to turn back time, I would hurt myself over and over again in order for them to feel no more pain, but that's not healthy and I'm well aware yet I can't bring myself to stop."
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix, Lee Felix (Stray Kids)/Original Male Character(s)
Kudos: 19





	Obscure.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first published work, I hope you enjoy reading this even if it isn't meant to bring joy.  
> In no way this work is made to describe the members in real life in any way, this is pure fiction. I'm not romanticizing any of this, again this isn't meant to bring joy or happiness, it is a sad story that may or may not be based on true events so beware, make sure to read the tags.
> 
> AGAIN, make sure to read the tags, this will get graphic in some scenes. 
> 
> TW// For this chapter, there will be sexual harassment.

Love. 

We either hate talking about it or we enjoy gushing about it. 

Hyunjin can definitely agree with that statement, yet disagree. It all depends on the situation, specially when you love such an amazing person with the exception that they don't return those feelings. It's both a blessing and a curse to be able to love with such a freedom and so openly, loving with all your might yet it will forever remain unanswered, a true pity.

His mother always told him to love freely, to love whoever he wanted, however he wanted but to have something very clear and that is that he should never hurt one he loves, at least not on purpose, that's not a way to love. So he did, he fell in love with an amazing person, Hyunjin liked to call him a little star. He shined so bright even in his darkest moments he never stopped shining and the taller man admired that so much. If people knew half of what the freckled boy went through they would question how he even woke up with enough energy to keep on going, maintaining himself sane and happy. In reality is that he had mastered the art of acting so well that even though he could be in a numbing state of pain, no one would know. No one but Hyunjin of course, sadly he could see right through Felix's façade how the boy was slowly crumbling to nothing. His eyes didn't have that usual sparkle that they did when his smile reached the highest point on his cheeks, the way the corners of his eyes wrinkled up until his eyes disappeared while his gorgeous smile took the stage and gave a ethereal show, making the boy look angelic. The dark bags coating the area below his eyes became more prominent as the days passed, his frame was progressively getting thinner making him look fragile, as if he didn't already look fragile as it is. Yet Hyunjin was so deeply in love, he was in love and he knew the reason as to why his little star was slowly fading away, but he couldn't bring himself to destroy him any further and that was their greatest downfall of all. 

All because of love. Love can be a lot of things, even bad and either way we still sacrifice ourselves for it. 

Felix was in love, deeply in love and no matter what he'll do anything for his one and only. Even if it makes him crumble little by little everyday, even if he loses himself while he's at it, it's all in the name of love. 

Today he was supposed to spend some time with his boyfriend, what Felix hadn't expected was to see the man's group of friends hanging around in their living room. Decided against commenting anything, the boy gave the 5 males a gentle smile as he sped through the mini crowd, he felt uneasy and who could blame him, Gunwoo's friends were a bit too comfortable to say the least.. Uncomfortably so, either way the freckled male couldn't bring himself to complain. Those are his friends so there's no reason for him to feel that way, right?

"Well well, look who it is. Gun's pretty whore, why don't you come here and give me a little service huh?". Suddenly was heard around the whole room, a rumble of laughter made itself presence as the rest of the guys cackled at the comment as if it was the funniest joke in the world, Felix didn't see the amusement in said words yet obligated himself to at least give the man a chuckle. As he released a small sigh, a pair of hands made themselves known as they wrapped around his middle, a strong chest pressing against his back. Swallowing his complains once again, the boy internally sighed recognizing the arms that currently caged him against his will, no it wasn't his boyfriend, his shoes weren't at the doorstep so that meant that the man wasn't even in the house. Now, that should've been the first red alarm for Felix, he was well aware but unfortunately he walked right into that one, literally. The second sign should have also been the out of place comment that the man currently groping him threw at him, it was more straightfoward than usual. His boyfriend didn't exactly stop them from talking to him wrongly, so of course that just made him think that it had to be normal in everyone's friend group, or at least Felix tried to convince himself of that fact. 

A soft whine of discomfort accidentally slipped as the man, his name is Yonghwa, the first time Felix met the guy he was extremely sweet to him. The small man often wondered what went so incredibly wrong for him to start treating him this way. Yonghwa definitely heard the small barely noticeable whine, it was hard not to with how close the man was and didn't seem like he'd be backing up any time soon. He trailed his hand slowly, he started from the blonde's cheek the began trailing his fingertips along his neck in what would be perceive as sensual yet to Felix it did not feel that way, at all. He stopped at his chest then leaned forward till his lips merely brushed against the shell of the smaller's ear. "It seems you are enjoying this huh? You don't feel enough satisfaction with your boyfriend so you have to hit on his friends too?". 

_No._

Felix wanted to reply but couldn't find the way to open his mouth and speak, he felt frozen. 

"Cat got your tongue, darling?"

Another whimper was heard, louder this time as he tried to pry the sneaking hands away from his body, no succeeding entirely. "Please don't touch me.." The freckled boy mumbled, not finding enough strength to talk any louder, he just wanted to leave the room but well aware that it wasn't gonna be possible until Gunwoo came back, yeah Gunwoo would help him. A cackle suddenly resonated loudly in his ear, Yonghwa found amusement in his plead yet there wasn't anything funny about it. "Why not? With those sounds you are releasing I'm sure you are actually enjoying yourself, you just don't want to admit it". The touching got progressively more and more forceful and prying, soon enough the man had his hands under his clothes, trailing every single inch of skin. From his chest, to his stomach and lower. Felix attempted pushing Yonghwa's hands away and was able to get them away, for a few seconds. "Yonghwa please.. I don't.. like this". Another plea, his sad eyes started filling with tears, he just wanted to be left alone, the feeling of the other's hands made him feel suffocated, dirty and just plain wrong. Felix glanced up, looking around to see if any of the other guys would help him but it was no use, it was like they weren't even there, like this situation was just his imagination. He wanted to yell and call for help, yet he felt this lump positioned at his throat preventing him from uttering a single word. Felix was used to this treatment but he definitely wasn't ready for this to happen, yes they were quite lewd with him a lot, sometimes touched him but it was never like this. His hand clawed at the taller's hands, desperately trying to get the disgusting feeling away from him. 

Felix loved physical affection, he loved hugs, he loved those heartwarming touches that made him feel safe and calm inside. The boy was a very affectionate person, often times used hugs as a way of expressing gratitude. It's such a foul thing to have something you loved so much and brought you so much joy be turned into something you hate, the thought of someone's hands touching him was just something he preferred not to even think about, his friends often times gave him hugs, a soft palm against his cheek but it didn't feel as good as it did before. Of course he wasn't gonna tell them that, questions would surface, how do you go from being the most affectionate person to absolutely despising physical contact, there's an explanation that he really doesn't want to give to his friends. 

No matter how hard he fought to get away, the man was physically stronger and taller so of course it wouldn't be an easy task to get away from him. As the minutes went by, the man began unbottoning his pants. Felix was trembling noticeably so, it looked like he was almost vibrating with the force, he was terrified and it made him feel utterly humiliated that this was happening and he couldn't bring himself to do anything. "Stop fucking moving so much and stay still, I need to hurry before your damn boyfriend comes back.. or maybe ill ask him to join?". The man grinned, a mocking tone used while trailed his hand down the boy's stomach, fingertips coming close to the hem of his currently worn underwear. Soon enough a small sob broke though the freckled blonde, forcing himself to push the man away once again, his hands gripped Yonghwa's wrist as he pushed them out and away from his body. His cries kept getting progressively louder catching the rest of the guy's attention. 

"Please.. leave me a-". A loud slam of the front door easily drifted the attention from him to the owner of the noise. 

It's Gunwoo! 

The blonde pushed a bit harder away until the man holding him down finally let him go, causing the smaller to crumble down onto the floor. Letting out a big breath, Felix looked up at his partner with so much joy, he once again had saved him. "G-Gun! I'm so happy you are back, I've misse-". 

"What's going on? Why do you look like that?". The red haired deadpanned while his eyes zeroed onto the boy currently laying on the ground, to anyone else it looked like he had been caught doing something remotely suspicious, suspiciously sexual if he were more specific. He then began making his way towards the other, now catching sight of the rest of the group. From the entrance you could only see a small glimpse towards the kitchen floor which is where Felix was currently laying on, tear tracks coating his freckled cheeks, he looked tired. 

That caused him to look down, Gunwoo didn't really seem to miss him as much as he missed him. 

Yonghwa coughed mometarily, the crooked smirk that he's always sporting returning back to his face as his eyes fell upon the red haired. 

"Oh, he's fine we were just messing with him a little that's all". And that Gunwoo definitely lifted a brow at, lowering his gaze down at the boy. He could easily see how much the other was trembling, Felix looked like he'd been fighting someone and that had him quite confused, nonetheless decided against saying anything and just brought a hand out to help the boy stand up. 

"Hm."

"Just some friendly banter, right Lix?".

_Right, some friendly banter why are you overreacting Felix? It's nothing, It isn't the first time and it didn't seem like It'd be the last._

He nodded, his eyes momentarily looking over at the owner of that cynical voice, his breath hitching slightly. Yonghwa had a sinister look in his eye and it made Felix feel so incredibly uneasy. He wanted to just leave, he wanted to go to his room and just sleep, yeah sleep sounds good right now. Just as he was about to leave, a strong hand wrapped around his wrist and that made him tremble, the last thing he wanted right now was to be touched. Gunwoo held on tightly to his wrist, now full on focused on the freckled boy which made him feel slightly uneasy with how intensely he was looking at him. Felix then returned to his original spot, now looking into the red haired's eyes, he wanted to stop trembling so much but he just couldn't bring himself to. "Where do you think you are going? We were supposed to spend the night together". Ah, he had forgotten about that and he wishes he could just give the man another excuse but he was well aware Gunwoo wasn't going to have it. Felix lowered his gaze back to the floor and nodded slightly, following close behind the taller as they made their way towards the living room. The rest of the guys were extremely quiet, some looked unbothered but the other's looked a bit confused, either way it didn't matter cause as soon as Gunwoo sat down the extremely long and awkward silence ceased, a loud rumble of voices picked back up as if nothing ever happened. 

_That should've been his third warning_ but still, Felix stayed cause it's just some _friendly_ banter. It's all just a joke, a very sick joke but those are his friends so it's okay, Gunwoo wouldn't let them do anything else, right?

 _'Oh Felix, what are they doing to you...'_ The long haired male thought to himself as he watched the scene unfold, right there sitting on that couch. Hyunjin couldn't help but feel pained, that he once again let these things happen, is this really how love is supposed to be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first published work! This is a little something I've been wanting to work on but couldn't get myself around it, hope you enjoyed (not really much joy) reading. I'm gonna work hard on this, constructive critism is very welcomed and I hope to see you again around here. 
> 
> Please if you are going through these kinds of things, please reach out and get help, this isn't okay or healthy, take care of yourselves loves.


End file.
